I ran the reading half marathon last Sunday and while not my best time it was a beautiful day, which was surprising since it had rained heavily for pretty much 2 days straight. This year rather than use public transport to reach the site I stumped up the extra for a space in the blue car-park near the stadium, the downside being that I had to leave very early to get there before the roads closed.
At 6am it was still cold and wet so I dressed in my winter kit, packed a couple of magazines and left my summer gear in the boot just in case. I arrived at the car-park by 7 and settled myself in to a few hours of reading and people watching, after an hour or so it seemed that the people in the 4×4 behind me had run out of conversation and entertainment so had decided to enhance their people watching by beeping their horn at anyone who was changing by their car then laughing as they scurried back inside.
When 9am came around it was time to start making my way to the stadium, but in direct contrast to the morning the sky was now bright blue and it was already quite warm. Running in my winter kit would have led to heat exhaustion before I was halfway through so I decided to play with the couples in the 4×4.
To start off I walked round the back of my car and opened the boot, the cars were tightly packed in and despite there being hundreds of people around the spot was fairly secluded. After putting a car-mat on the ground so I would have somewhere to stand later (as opposed to broken concrete) I sat on the edge of my boot and undid the laces on my trainers letting them fall to the ground, then removed my socks one after the other.
Apparently the site of unshorn feet was more than enough to set the horn honker off, so I looked up and met her gaze until she finally stopped looking rather embarrassed (much to the amusement of her friends). Once it had been established that the horn honking was off the cards I lifted myself off the boot and stood on the car mat. It was my intention take my summer kit out the bag first but now wanted to make things a little more risky for myself. Turning round to face away from the 4×4 I pushed my tracksuit bottoms half way down my legs before stepping out of them.
They were probably a little disappointed as I neatly folded them before dropping the garment into the boot because I was wearing my skins compression tights underneath. While quite flattering they do cover everything quite nicely, so once I felt they had waited long enough I hooked my thumbs into the waistline and after waiting for a moment or two to tease them bent over as I pulled them down my legs. I never wear underwear when running and taking those tights off is rarely a graceful act, Id managed to get them off one leg before the horn honker thought she would start again. She managed a whole 1.5 beeps of the horn before her hands were dragged away by the other occupants of the car. I took a little while longer than necessary freeing my other leg then as with the tracksuit bottoms neatly folded them before placing them into the boot.
It was fun standing there half naked in the carpark and I wanted to prolong it so before going any further I turned around again so they could see my front, standing as close to the car as possible so they did not have to stand up in their seats to see over the bonnet. I had thought they were the only people who could see but a young runner in the car next to them was clearly enjoying the show so I gave him a little wave. I had been going to put my shorts on first before continuing but since they were so appreciative I decided to go all the way.
Turning around to face my car I removed my jacket leaving me in only my sports bra, I bent over slightly while I folded the jacket and placed it in the boot with the rest of my clothing. The light warm breeze felt really good and I could feel my heart beating in my chest now, while the people behind were able to see me from the waist down anyone passing from the front would assume I was fully dressed… but the risk of being caught had captured my imagination. When I could no longer reasonably continue folding the jacket I decided to finish undressing, turning around to face my audience I slowly pulled the sports bra off over my head then stood with my arms wide in a flourish. This earned me a few beeps but I was beyond caring at this point.
I stood in that pose for about a minute with the sports bra dangling in my outstretched hand, grinning all the time before performing a little pirouette and finally placing that last item of clothing into the boot. In truth I had woke up that morning really wanting to show off, after several months of hard work I was back in peak summer condition, my stomach was perfectly toned and the muscles on my legs looked fantastic. It seemed a little sad that I would have to get dressed now though inevitably I intended to draw things out as long as possible, especially since they had not yet seen everything.
Still facing away I leaned into the boot and pulled my kitbag to the front, unzipping the bag I removed my summer attire and dropped it onto the mat at my feet then spent my time packing away my winter bag. The lone runner in the smaller car had switched to the passenger seat to get a better view, a far better one than those in the 4×4 who could probably only see the top of my bottom. Once I had finished packing and zipped up the bag I turned around again so I could watch them while I dressed.
I am fortunate that the boot of my car is set so I can comfortably sit on the edge, keeping my legs together I placed my hands either side of my waist and pulled myself just over the edge of the boot pushing my boobs out to best effect. They were clearly wondering what I going to do next, so I placed my left hand between my legs slowly forcing them apart and placed my fingers over the edge of the boot for support. By this point I was very, very tender and the back of my wrist touching me caused a sharp intake of breath. Pressing forward against my wrist I lowered my right leg and hooked one my trainers before sitting back on the edge again.
Lifting the leg up I took hold of the trainer with my right hand and dropped it onto the edge of the car before slowly removing my left hand from the edge, closing my legs behind. This was extreme even by my standards and I could feel my face burning up now along with everything else, despite this I repeated the same manoeuvre with my right hand to collect my other shoe. At this point I felt they had waited patiently long enough so after another few moments of sitting placed my hands both side and slowly moved my legs apart so they could finally see everything. This too earned a few beeps coupled with a combination of laughter and shock from the 4×4, the runner in the other car just stared bemused but clearly enjoying themselves.
Being aware of the time I started to move a little quicker from this point as the race would be starting soon, I placed my right foot on the edge of the car and quickly pulled on my first sock this left me completely open though my arms were a little in the way. I spent rather more time on the other foot since the lone runner had a clearer view on this side. It would have been more sensible to pull my shorts on at this point but I knew they would fit over my trainers so I repeated the same procedure making sure to leave myself as exposed as possible while tying up the laces. This done I sat there for a few moments more with my legs apart on the boot.
It was now time for either the shorts or matching sports bra and I was about to choose the shorts but it occurred that I had not yet attached my race number to the back of my top or took it out of the bag. So I hopped off the boot and stretched as tall as I could with my arms pushing towards the sky before turning around to get the number out of the bag.
It took a little while to attach the number, making sure it would not chafe when running and because my attention was elsewhere I had not noticed that someone was watching me from the road through the front window of my car, which actually caused me to jump when I looked up. I’m not sure how much they could see while I was leaning over but I stood up and gave them a little wave before pulling the top over my head at which point they moved on smiling. Only the shorts were left now but I paused at this point and pulled my top up into my armpits, my audience out front had moved on so I took the jar of Vaseline out of my bag and rubbed some around my nipples while facing the 4×4, given their current state they would have ended up chaffed before I reached the start line otherwise and it seemed a shame to waste the moment.
This done I pulled my top back down and arranged myself carefully, making sure the number was not going to get in the way… then turned around and applied a little Vaseline to another sensitive area but they did not get to watch that. It was finally time to put the shorts on but I still had a few minutes so I turned to face my car and placed one foot on either side of the mat on the floor before bending over with my legs straight so my chest touched my knees, holding this pose for a few seconds until I received another beep. At this point I picked up the mat then slowly rolled my spine back into an upright position and placed the mat into the car.
There really was nothing left to do now so sadly I picked up my shorts then turned round and sat on the edge of the car once more, just for fun I lay back this time with my legs apart for a while I negotiated putting my first leg into the shorts then half sat up as after a little struggling managed to get the other through. With the shorts around my knees I scooted forward to the edge of the boot and hopped down again and took a little bow before pulling them the rest of the way up… for which I received a round of applause with the beeping.
Already a little out of breath and certainly red in the face I quickly locked up the car and made to head off, they clearly thought the show was over so I gave them a quick flash of my boobs before turning tail and running off to the start line. I certainly needed no warm up time on arrival. I was still early but chances are my new friends took a little longer to arrive, especially the male ones. This is easily the most daring and brazen thing I have done in a very long time, blatantly exhibiting myself in a very public place with no pretence of doing anything else.
I prefer the accidental approach but sometimes this can just be so much fun, in all I must have spent almost half an hour undressing and playing in front of my audience… and possibly a few more who happened to look through the front window of my car. Even at the end of the race I was still pretty much on fire, had I realised that some of the changing tents were mixed I might have had a little more fun but that will have to wait for next year.
When I returned to the car-park there was a note under my windscreen wiper that just said “Thanks!” which made me really happy. It took almost an hour to get to my friends house after the race but all I can say is I really enjoyed the hot shower (and used up most of their hot water too)… I should probably reconsider my no snuggling before the race rule.