I spent last weekend fossil hunting in Dorset on the Charmouth Black Ven beach with Julie, not the best of weather but it did mean that most of the time we were the only people apart from the professionals out there at low tide. Had the weather been a little nicer it was my intention to carry out the hunt wearing a string bikini, Doc Martins and a backpack but practicality meant I was wearing full waterproofs and a nice warm jumper instead. The bikini was in the backpack just in case but I may as well not have brought it.
The real fun took place at the very cheap B&B (bed and breakfast) we had booked into. While in most respects it was perfectly presented and certainly clean there were only two guest bathrooms in our four story building. We had separate rooms on the top floor so after fossil hunting Julie went for a Siesta (rather more easily worn out from lumping rocks around all day) and I undressed for a shower.
To be honest it was just nice just to get out of the damp clothes and wrap a warm fluffy towel around myself, having made sure I was decent I put the door key in my wash bag and headed out into the passage barefoot. The radiators in the corridor were clearly not as effective as those in the room and the chill hit me on anything not covered by the towel. The promise of a hot shower kept me going as I all but ran down the flight of stairs to the third floor bathroom, the towel flapping ever so slightly though there was nobody around to see it, sadly the engaged sign was showing and the sound of someone already showering was clear through the door.
I considered waiting but decided instead to head to the bathroom on the first floor, I was already shivering at this point so had no concern at all about being seen as I dashed down the remaining two floors and into the thankfully warm empty bathroom. It may seem odd but my intentions at this point were entirely focused on a warm shower and not to showing myself off, however there had been two young men who looked about college age sitting on the stairs opposite the bathroom that went to the ground floor.
On closing the door I overheard them talking and they had assumed that they had been the reason I had ran into the bathroom, not wanting to be seen in a towel, and clearly thought this was funny. I locked the door but my mind was ticking over now but before I let things go any further I jumped in the shower for a good 20 minutes (thankful it was not a pay shower and that there seemed to be plenty of hot water). Nicely warmed through and dried off my mind was working through scenarios and since there was an hour to kill before tea it seemed like a good idea to have a little fun.
Having dropped the towel on the floor I explored the shower-room, while scrupulously clean it was sadly devoid of the usual opportunities such B&B offer. It had a single full length mirror, which would have given someone a perfect view through the window on the far wall… were it not a single frosted pane designed to be permanently shut. Even the door was solid and lacking so much as a keyhole for the more determined voyeur, I’d almost given up but as I neared the door I could hear that the two students were still outside on the landing.
From their conversation it was fairly clear that one of the boys had tagged along as company for the other so their parents could have some peace, and that the stairs simply offered a little respite from crowding into their apartment or suffering the questionable television habits of the older guests in the lounge. I decided to brighten their day up a little, so when I wrapped my towel around me I tucked the band at top inside a few times till I reached the almost invisible pink stitch that would place the bottom edge at most 2cm below my fluff, teasing was the aim the game. Leaving my washbag on the sink I unlocked the door and stepped out into the corridor.
I feel within that split second of the door being opened they noticed that my towel was rather higher on my leg than it had been the last time they had seen me, their chatting had stopped completely. I wasn’t actually showing anything but you would have to look pretty closely to realise this and they were certainly taking full advantage of the opportunity.
With their undivided attention I casually walked to the far end of the passage turned right and placed my right foot on the first stair leading upward, pausing for a moment. At this point I was being exceptionally cruel since while they could now see almost to the top of my leg they could at best only see me from the side. Having waited few seconds I decided it would be a good time to head back and collect my washbag from where I left it on the sink.
Turning around slowly to make sure everything stayed in place I walked slowly back towards the bathroom with a stern expression on my face, the boys who clearly assumed they had been caught trying to place their heads as tightly to the banister wall as possible were blushing furiously and looked like they were about to dart off. Fortunately they stayed put as I stepped back into the bathroom, I had been going to repeat the performance to prolong things but instead decided to up the ante a little… or more precisely the towel.
Since the sink was out of view from the doorway I quickly turned the wrapped band in on itself one more time taking it to the small green stitch, this was as short as the towel could possibly go whilst still legally covering everything. Picking up the washbag I headed back out and could not help but notice that my clearly appreciative audience had moved down a few steps to get a better view. In response I walked even more slowly along the passage and as close to the banister rail as possible, they would not be able to see anything but there was no harm in letting them try.
Once I reached the end of the passage I turned round and once again placed my right foot on the first stair, pausing while I quickly searched through the washbag for a moment for a brush. Once I’d run the brush through my hair a few times I put it back into the bag and continued walking up the stairs. While doing this I tried my best not to notice them quietly sneaking down to the bottom of the stairs to try their luck from there. By the second floor they had evidently given up or decided that they needed to be elsewhere for some reason, so I stepped closer to the wall and turned the top band of the towel over one more time, just enough to give plausible deniability while letting people see if auburn was my natural colour.
It was rather disappointing that nobody opened their door as I slowly headed up to the third floor, it was very apparent how cold it was in the passage but there is a very strong correlation between the amount of clothing I’m wearing and how likely it is I will enjoy it. While I walked at an exceptionally slow pace until I reached the stairs, my breath literally hanging in the air, I’ll admit to taking the last flight a bit faster and letting out a yelp as I stubbed my toe on the top step.
I was displaying pretty much all I had as I sat down on the stairs, pushed my leg out to the side and pulled my foot upwards to make sure it wasn’t badly hurt. Still it seemed nobody was going to come to the aid of a damsel in distress so I limped to the door of my room cursing that I nearly always go barefoot. Though my intention had been just to tease I was a little disappointed that I had not actually been seen, by the time I had reached the room the throbbing in my toe had died down somewhat so I stood there and listened in the corridor. It felt eerily calm in that the only sound was coming from a TV at the end of the hall, looking back towards the stairs I felt fairly confident that I was on my own so with my back facing the door I undid the towel and let it fall to the floor behind me.
I stood with my legs slightly apart and one hand on each side of the doorframe then closed my eyes and counted to 60. Listening to the silence broken only by the beating of my heart, I could feel he goose bumps raised on my skin from the cold… every slight noise made me want to dart for the towel, the knowledge that if someone light-footed walked onto the floor my act would be impossible to explain away made my heart beat ever faster.
After a minute I opened my eyes and as the brightness hit it was clear I had got away with it, dropping the washbag at my feet I squatted down and rummaged around for the key. This added another 30 seconds, but it was over all too soon as so I turned around and unlocked the door… kicking the towel inside with my good foot. It goes without saying that my curtains were wide open but it would have taken a very long ladder for that to be a problem.
As I rifled through my bag for something warm to wear the TV in a nearby room shut off and was followed a few seconds later by a slamming door, another minute and I would have been caught. This was enough to set me off again so I did not bother dressing any further than the wool jumper I had found until it was time to head out again.
When we returned from fossil hunting the next day my audience were in the TV room so I made sure they were in hearing distance on announcing that I needed a shower. In truth I really did need a shower since I had slipped over on some of the rocks, my balance arguably compromised by a sore big toe. Sure enough by the time I was at the second flight of stairs I could see they were moving to a more comfortable seat. I undressed in record time on reaching my room, since it would have been rude to keep them waiting, and then wrapped the towel around me to the green stitch. Foolishly perhaps I headed out again barefoot with nought but my towel and a washbag for cover.
As I reached the turned the corner of the first floor one of them headed into the bathroom ahead of me while his friend sat on the stairs. On reaching the door I could clearly see that it was engaged but pretended not to notice and tried anyway, someone inside ‘shouted won’t be a minute’. I felt safe (to be honest I was pretty sure I could take them both down fairly easily even if I was only in a towel) so I lay back against the wall near the door and pretended that he was not desperately trying to see under my towel.
The green stitch level is pretty much perfect since it gives the impression that they should definitely be able to see something if only they try hard enough. I was not making matters easy for him anyway since I was casually swinging the washbag back and forth at just the right level to spoil even the most diligent of efforts. After a minute or so his friend exited the shower-room and I nipped in behind him. Listening at the door I had to stop myself from laughing since it was clear they had flipped a coin to see who would get to stay on the stairs and the one behind the door had saw no more than the one in front of it.
I decided to have some fun and left the door unlocked to see if they would dare sneak a peek once I was in the shower, however it seemed that either they were gentlemen on some level or wisely avoiding the potential consequences of doing so. This was a shame since I left the towel right by the door ready for them to find.
Having showered, brushed my hair and teeth I wandered back over to the door and listened for a while, they were still there but I could not make out what they were saying. Picking up the towel I wrapped it back around myself to the green stitch, it was tempting to go a little higher but I was having too much fun teasing them. Now that I was ready I listened at the door again to make sure there was nobody else out there, steeling myself I opened the door wide and stepped outside. On the threshold of the door I paused momentarily and feigned a yawn stretching my arms out behind me. In their eyes there was the chance the towel would fall or rise just high enough, but in mine I knew how often I had practiced this in front of a mirror before putting the stitches in (including the black one that was 1” above what is decent).
Having prolonged the torture for them a little longer I stepped out fully then turned to head back up the stairs, there were several glints in the middle of the floor… clearly they had been thinking with their heads this time. At short intervals along the corridor near the large gaps in the banister were £2 coins shining on the floor, making sure that they did not have mobile phones or other obvious recording devices in their hands I walked to the first coin pretending not to notice them staring through the gaps.
It had really been my intention just to tease them mercilessly, possibly even let the towel fall over the balcony once I was out of sight but I felt obliged to reward their ingenuity. So with my back to them I placed my feet 8″ apart and squatted down to pick up the first coin, in doing so my towel was raised to rest on my lower back just above my bottom. Before standing up again I opened the washbag and dropped the coin inside, again pretending that every one of the last 20 seconds would not be etched in their minds forever. When I stood up the towel was still resting on my lower back so I left it there for a second or two before nonchalantly brushing it back down.
I walked forward again this time pausing as if only just noticing the second coin and this time half squatted and bent at the waist to pick it up, this time the towel itself did not move but I was definitely feeling a bit chilly in other places. This time it only took about 10 seconds, pausing at the top I once more dropped the coin into my bag. I did the same thing for the next coin too but this time bent over at my waist first then squatted down to make sure the towel rose properly.
There was a single coin left on the floor now and being the furthest away I knew they were not going to get too much of a view this time, so this time I walked past the coin. Once I was a few steps past I stopped and turned around as if just registering there was yet another shiny object on the floor. This time it would definitely be memorable, walking back to the coin I placed my feet a little wider than they strictly speaking needed to be, casually I noted that my audience had shown enough foresight to move a few steps down before this coin so their view would be clear and unobstructed. As always not looking at them I squatted down to pick up the coin, giving them a very clear view between my legs as the towel raised both front and back.
Feigning a loss of balance I dropped forward onto one hand and held that position for almost 5 seconds before righting myself, opening the washbag then depositing the coin inside it before standing up. Partly due to my efforts the towel this time was well above my waist both front and back so I made sure they had a chance to see everything I had before brushing the towel down as I turned around and headed upstairs. During the last coin they had moved even closer and would have been no more than a metre away, sadly there were no more coins as I headed upstairs, I did consider letting the towel drop in some way so they could see my breasts but decided it was better to do things this way… it offered a slightly implausible deniability and gave them a far better story to tell their friends of how they managed to trick a part-time fitness instructor. Once I was past the landing on the first floor it was apparent that at least one of them had headed into the shower-room and the other was heading downstairs quite quickly too.
Since it seemed quiet and I really felt like I was on fire now I stripped off the towel and threw it around my shoulders. Then key in hand headed up to my room making plenty of noise on the stairs, the plan being to speak the few words of German I knew and act as though everything was completely normal (a naked woman is welcome anywhere). Still all hopes of starting a conversation with a confused couple were dashed as once more it was completely deserted, but this time I did not even bother with the jumper when I reached my apartment… and possibly spent a little too long looking out of the window just in case anyone was looking upwards.