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Meet the Neighbours

My current neighbours have seen me naked so many times they would probably be far more surprised to see me dressed!

I now live in a semi-detached with a nice garden which oddly has a gate into the neighbour’s garden at the back, it seems they thought nothing of wandering through to say “Hi” shortly after I moved in this summer only to catch me sunbathing in what I thought was a fairly secluded area.

They just stood stunned into silence mid-sentence as I lay on the Star Wars beach towel I’d set out with my legs wide apart in full basking mode, so there really wasn’t anything left to hide. I made no move to cover up mirroring their shock (since in truth I had not heard them approach) after about 30 seconds of silence they managed to regain their composure and apologised saying they should have called first before rapidly departing back through the gate while blushing furiously.

Once I’d managed to stop myself laughing, I stood up, wrapped the towel around me and headed through the gate to greet them myself. I shouted out “Hi there, wait up a sec” and they stopped in their tracks as I walked towards them making sure to keep the towel firmly in place. They were both blushing and she was stuttering a bit and started to apologise again not seeming to notice I was smiling and clearly not concerned. I needed to set them at ease so led with my usual apologetic opening of “Sorry about that, I hope you weren’t offended I didn’t even notice the gate back there” then held out a hand saying “I’m Ali we’ve just moved in”  then shook hands with each of them as they introduced themselves as Lauren and Callum.

Lauren said “We weren’t offended but really didn’t mean to invade your privacy like that and we…” I interrupted her by waving one hand across my body mid-sentence, smiling I said “Honestly don’t worry about it, I’m something of a nudist so tend not to wear too much about this time of year. Anytime you want to pop round and say Hi please feel free, there’s really no need to make an appointment”. Lauren looked visibly happier and though her cheeks were redder than my hair she said “well I’m glad you came over I was wondering how I was going to apologise!”

I paused for a second as though contemplating, in truth I had already decided to have a little more fun with them while at the same time making sure she felt happy to pop round anytime. After a moment’s thought I responded “It’s really not a big deal and I’m happy you weren’t offended, you would have caught me out there sooner or later and I’d rather it was out in the open so I don’t need to hide or jump at shadows whenever I hear the gate creaking”. She still seemed a little nervous and about to apologise once more so I reiterated “you weren’t offended?” once she uttered an affirmative I simply unwrapped the towel and hung it over one arm to stand there smiling and completely naked.

The look on her face was priceless as she quickly moved a hand over her mouth in a brief shock, a little laugh just briefly escaping her lips her partner also grinning from ear to ear. While it was clear she did not quite know where to look I enjoyed that both of them were taking the opportunity to look me up and down as though not quite believing what they were seeing. I laughed and said “see, it’s nothing you haven’t seen before” then gave them a quick spin so they could see my bottom while saying “same bits as everyone else really!”
“So then just want to make sure, still not offended?” she moved the hand away from her mouth smiling openly and slowly looked me up and down, clearly still making sense of things said “no not at all” and laughed. This was the response I had wanted and her partner also agreed before chipping in with the best response ever to my nudity “So then Ali can I take it you’re a fan of Star Wars then?” doing a far better job of making eye contact when I responded.

This really broke the ice and we made small talk about Star Wars for a while before they gave me a tour of their beautiful garden. Her partner clearly walking a little behind so he could have a view of my little behind while we walked around the different plants. I’d abandoned my towel entirely by this point since it was an inconvenience and I was rather enjoying freedom of being the only one naked. The girls were at full attention the whole time but I did my best to be the casual nudist, though it was fun to listen for the sudden stutter and break in conversation whenever I squatted down or bent over to look at a flower. They kindly offered guidance on the maintenance of my own garden since some of the plants were quite unusual, which would later lead to them staring at my bare behind on more than one occasion as I weeded the flower beds.

After an hour or so they were still blushing a little but clearly had come to find the situation more humorous and from our conversation I felt we could become good friends. I joined them for a cup of tea (we are English) and a rather wonderful slice of homemade cake as we continued our conversation, I did nearly cause her partner to choke a little on his drink when I brushed the cake crumbs off my fluff. Among other things I talked about how I practised Yoga (or Pilates really) which brought a bright red glow straight back to Laurens cheeks, I said I’d be happy to give them a few lessons sometime and the look on Callum’s face was equally priceless as he clearly was working on the best way to broach this with Lauren.

Finally, I decided that was enough sun for one day so I bid my farewells, only this time instead of a handshake giving them each a quick hug, reiterating that they could pop round anytime. I remembered one more important point to state, and grinned saying “you’ll have to meet my husband too he’s not a nudist but gave up on me long ago”. Then waved as I walked back up their garden accidentally forgetting to collect the towel I’d left draped over their bench.

I did not have to wait too long before meeting them again as the following day was equally sunny and around midday I undressed before heading out into the garden. After a little pottering around I returned to the same spot as the previous day and having made sure there were no sharp twigs or stones lay down on the grass to sunbathe once more. I heard the gate creak on its hinges and purposely did not move a muscle as they both walked around the corner once more still seemingly stunned to see me sunning myself. Leaving my legs quite far apart I propped myself up on my elbows to chat, both were once more blushing furiously but behind the wide eyes stare were both smiling widely. Notably their gazes tended to be fixed rather below my waist which I found quite funny.

After a short while Lauren proffered the forgotten Star Wars towel so I had to stand up, I thanked her for bringing it round and draped it over one arm before inviting them to join me for coffee. So I spent another naked afternoon with my new friends who were surprised as they managed to meet my husband, who on returning from his business trip walked out onto the patio to see me sitting in a ladylike pose with nothing more than a smile and the neighbours once more flustered. I laughed and stood up as I introduced them, he greeted them warmly and said “Don’t look so worried, bit of a free spirit this one” and laughed. He went back indoors to sort out a few things then joined us for the rest of the afternoon.

Lauren did bring up the subject of my yoga practice, and I did mention the one time I taught it nude to raise money for charity which certainly seemed to capture their imagination. I’ll have to write about that another day.

Love Alice.


Adventures of an Exhibitionist