As you can gather from my other stories I am an exhibitionist at heart but one of my more embarrassing experiences was far from planned.
Several years ago we were selling our home and since my husband had a job which could be interrupted by phone it made sense for him to handle all of the calls from the estate agent then email me the details. However one particular Saturday I’d returned feeling rather stressed from the Christmas crowds swarming mindlessly through Reading and wanting nothing more than to go running.
As soon as the shopping was away I stripped off everything I was wearing into the washing machine, dressed in a pair of ankle socks and my New Balance trainers then headed through to the treadmill while strapping on my MP3 player. I always workout naked when indoors since most clothing simply gets in the way the only people who will see me have already saw everything I have anyhow.
Id been running for about an hour when the estate agent and the couple looking to buy our house wandered into the gym come utilities room, so to use the euphemism I was glistening by this point but still at my graceful Gazelle stage rather than red in the face and stomping through my final miles.
Not having heard them come in it came as something of a surprise when I looked up to see the agent trying to escort them out quickly, so much so that I pretty much tripped over my own feet and would have bounced all the way to the end of the treadmill had the emergency cord on the heart monitor not triggered.
Id fell down pretty hard and was basically lying there with my legs splayed trying to decide if my knee or elbow hurt more. They stood there not sure what to do but came quickly to my assistance when it became apparent I could not stand myself, the husband discreetly removed himself to the kitchen while they came over to offer first aid.
When I say first aid they were too nervous to actually do anything that was necessary because of my state of undress so I just explained I was a nudist and they should not worry about it. Once I’d determined my arm was not broken I convinced them to help carry me through to the living room, with one person under each arm, so the husband ended up with a full frontal as we passed through into the kitchen. He was more embarrassed than I was and not sure what to do so I asked him to fetch my first aid kit and a bag of frozen peas from the fridge in the gym while we went into the front room and they lowered me onto the sofa.
I’d fallen hard and they were wondering if I needed an ambulance, once I’d checked myself over it seemed it was simply a very bad landing and while it would be couple of weeks before I was running it wasn’t all that bad. When the husband arrived with the peas I pulled myself round to lie down on the couch and moved my legs apart so I could comfortably placed the bag of peas under my swollen knee.
I asked him to go an get another bag of peas while convincing them not to fuss and placed that on top of my knee and just lay there while the pain slowly ebbed away. It was pretty embarrassing for me to be honest since I felt like a complete clutz and while I love people seeing me naked its pretty important they enjoy it too.
I sent them off to see the rest of the house which they were happy to do (a positive sign really) after 10-15 minutes they returned the front room on their way out to check how I was, since I was still naked and a little cold I asked them to grab me a blanket from the cupboard under the stairs. This time the wife went to get the blanket leaving the husband to make a more lasting memory of my good self.
I refused the ambulance again and they saw themselves out before I picked up the phone by the couch and arranged for sympathy food from a deeply unsympathetic partner who found things rather funnier than I did that day.